


Doki Doki Next Page

by HopefulVoid13



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, F/M, LGBTQ Themes, Mentions of Suicide, Transgender, light mentions of violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-03-26 13:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19007053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopefulVoid13/pseuds/HopefulVoid13
Summary: A couple months into their relationship, (MC) starts acting weird with certain acts of intimacy he had brought into the table in the first place. Yuri figures out something is out of order and decides to confront him. She needs to know if he's going through something, or even worse, has stopped feeling the way he did for her.





	1. #1 - And she ran away

_"...I shall have enough left to escape the country, you need to put your faith in me._

_Besides the few coins in my purse, your faith is the only thing I have left. Please stay and-"_

 

"Yuri?" said MC peeking his head over to be in Yuri's vision. "Thank you for waiting for me. I hope it isn't too much just to walk home together"

Lifting her eyes from the book she had been reading on the bench outside of the school, Yuri gave him a content smile.

"Don't worry about it. We would be staying longer if we had club today anyway so I don't see any problem."

 

He waited for her to put back the book in her bag and they went on their way. With just some months left for the school year to be over the two went on about the stress final exams had put them under and what they expected of the next year. The last one before graduation came. 

As usual, they took the long way around, and with the extra time that not having a club meeting today gave them they allowed themselves to take the most impractical routes just so they could have more time to spend together. This took them about 40 minutes before they finally reached MC's home where they stood by so they could finish their conversation. Taking a few steps forward Yuri leaned in for a kiss, and of course this was reciprocated, but something felt off. He initially backed away for a second. She felt it. She felt having to go that extra half inch towards his face before their lips met.

 

She took a moment to examine his face and found nothing but the same warm expression that she fell in love with. Or... most of it at least. She moved the hair that covered both of his eyes and gave a small smirk.

"If you don't cut it your hair will swallow you whole darling."

He had a chuckle and put his hand against her cheek. "You know how much I hate getting haircuts."

"You have explained why with great detail," She replied. "But that doesn't mean you can go around like this. How hasn't anyone in the school faculty got you in trouble for it?"

"I'm lucky I guess." He passed his hand through his head clearing the hair out of the way.

"I'll see you tomorrow dear."

"Don't forget your poem," He replied.

Exchanging an "I love you" spoken so softly the both could barely hear it, each took their way. Something was off, but it could be just her imagination.

 

 

It was a shame they didn't get any classes together, although it was a relief as well. At least Yuri thought so; it would be hard to remain focused with the risk of her getting lost in thought looking at him. It already happened at least weekly without him being in the room so, in the end, it was likely for the best. 

Taking her time to pack all of her stuff, making it easier for herself to avoid interacting with any of her classmates by bumping into them, she made her way to the classroom on the third floor that was reserved for the literature club. One would think that seeing all the other larger groups getting together and excitedly heading to their own clubs would make her sad, for in comparison her club was much smaller, but Yuri was rather happy no one had decided to join after the school festival (despite how good her presentation and the others' were). She liked the way things were. More than a club it was a space for her and her four best friends in the world to hang out without any disturbance; comfortable and safe in the school property without having to go to the home of anyone.

The usual scene greeted her, Sayori rambling energetically to MC, Natsuki moving a desk near the closet and Monika by the teacher's desk looking through books and her homework.

She had warmed up more to everyone, even had made peace for the most part with Natsuki. 

"Hello," she said after putting down her backpack. And having received everyone's greeting she figured she could keep on her lecture of "The noble trader" with MC and started putting two desks together.

MC perked up and approached her.

"Hey love, I actually have some stuff to catch up with Sayo... You don't mind right?"

"O-oh." this had caught her by surprise. "Of course my darling, is something wrong? Our plan for this Saturday still stands right?"

"But of course! I just haven't got to spend too much time with her and just need to settle an argument with her. You know she can be stubborn about the most absurd things."

He chuckled awkwardly, their relationship was something one could only find in cartoons.

"Oh alright, I should spend more time with the girls as well."

When they started dating after the school festival, after of course the constant teasing of Sayori, Monika and Natsuki over them getting together, everyone had gotten used to them spending a lot more time together. They still were part of the group and it wasn't like they forgot about their friends, however it was still very clear that they wanted to spend more time with each other.

 

"Hey Monika, what's up?"

"Ugh, nothing much, just trying to find the papers so we can keep the club next year. Could you help me find the form? It has the school's symbol on the top left and some grids with everyone's names." Monika replied nodding her backpack towards her backpack.

Natsuki, after leaving her select tome of manga over her desk approached the two of them. "Still no luck with that paper? Isn't there more?"

"Well yes, but I don't wanna re-do all the made up math I had to make to try to convince the student body that this club is still active enough to be allowed to use a classroom." Monika replied as Natsuki started helping Yuri to go through all of the backpack looking for the form.

 "How have you two lovebirds been?" Natsuki snarkily added to Yuri while they went through Monika's bag. 

Yuri looked away to hide her expression, although invisible to Natsuki Yuri's smile let out "We're doing fine. We are going out this Saturday since finally we're getting less schoolwork."

Natsuki and Monika shared mischievous looks and grinned back at her. "Before you know it they'll be using club time just to smooch."

"I would never!" Yuri replied, accidentally rising her voice. After covering her mouth with both hands and looking back to find MC still conversing to Sayori she looked back at the pair. "I-I couldn't! I wouldn't!"

"Relax, she's just pulling your hair... Ah, here it is! Hey, I need those two's attention for a sec, give me a moment while I get set up."

 

Natsuki started putting all the contents of Monika's bag on their place, while Yuri approached MC and Sayori. Sayori's hand was on his back, while his elbows rested on the desk and his head on his palms. She was only able to catch a fragment of their conversation before they froze at the sight of her.

"I don't know, it just doesn't feel right Sayori. The consequences..."

"You need to be honest with her, and if I have to deal with it so do you silly."

They looked upset.

"Oh, hey Yuri," said Sayori after a couple of seconds breaking the awkward aura that had formed around them.

"Monika needs to make an announcement so she needs you guys to stop talking for a bit." Yuri announced. "Is everything alright?"

With a small twitch of his arm, MC passed his hand through his hair. "Oh we just needed to catch up a bit and I wanted to know how Sayo is doing with therapy."

Sayori looked at him and then back at Yuri. "Yeah, things are going better. I am working through a lot of stuff."

"I'm glad Sayori," Added Yuri. "If there's anything you need just let me know."

"I will."

 

It had been quite a while since Sayori's suicide scare. It was something that hit the group pretty hard, with her parents leaving so early each morning it was thanks to MC going to look for her that the worse didn't happen. Since then the club had become much more aware of the situation with her, and although leaving her alone and trying to not patronize her, always looking for her well being. She was lucky to have such a good friend. Yuri's mind was flooded with the reminder that they had been friends since diapers basically.

"Have they never felt something for one another?" Yuri wondered... With how great MC was, at least on her eyes, it was rather surprising nothing had happened between them.

 

"Alright everyone!" Monika exclaimed. "As you all know we have the minimum of members to keep the club running next year. And since we had to cut short our presentation for the cultural festival this year, due to only 3 members being available, no new members ended up joining... But that's ok! I like having this space to spend it with everyone! We'll keep book analysis sessions as we have for the last few months until I can come up with something better, but I do need all of your signatures here so I can give this to the student council. Does anyone have any issues with discussing chapter 7 of _"The Few Glad Ones"_ by next meeting?" 

MC lifted his hand.

"Alright! Chapter 7 by next meeting it is!"

He sighed.

The club signature list was passed on and the normal activities resumed. Sayori and Monika talking over poetry and personal stuff, Natsuki off to herself reading manga, although now by the teacher's desk, delivering her 2 cents occasionally, and not far away, in earshot of them Yuri and MC reading shoulder to shoulder.

Everything is fine, right? 


	2. #2 - Cornered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions grow as Yuri becomes more aware of MC's distant attitude.

_"... the sweat ran down her face... cold, almost glacial._

_Hidden within those 4 walls the oxygen wouldn't last much longer..."_

 

The weekend came, and with it, the anticipation. Even after all this time and having spent Christmas Eve together Yuri still felt butterflies on her stomach each time she went on a date with MC. The excitement and paranoia that made her try thirty or more outfits before each date were a symptom she was not able to overcome.

Her phone vibrated and showed a notification obstructing the PDF Yuri was reading on her cellphone.

  * "❤️Darling: Hey, I'm Outside"



 Yuri stood up and after taking a quick glance around her room to check she wasn't forgetting anything, and letting her parents know she was going out, she left through the front door.

At first she was rather scared of her relationship with MC becoming public, especially taking her parents into account; She was quite surprised they accepted their relationship without much trouble. Her parents, despite never directly telling her this, were unsure if the fact she was so reserved and quiet was a good thing. When MC around January asked to meet her parents, just as a friend to play it safe, they fell in love with him but mostly the idea that their daughter was being more sociable. When Yuri started to spend more and more time with MC it became an unspoken truth that they knew and were fine with it, only occasionally giving hints for her to take care of herself around him.

 

She headed outside to see MC leaning back on the fence that surrounded her home staring at the sky. She approached as stealthily as she could and gave him a peck on his cheek.

He jumped and tried to get away, only for him to realize who it was.

"Did you see a ghost?" Yuri asked him, humored by his sudden surprise.

"I was- I was just spaced out," he replied with an embarrassed expression. "Ready? I want to see if that Takoyaki stand is still there."

She chuckled, and holding hands they headed to the park.

On the way there as they talked she started to notice something. Ever since they started going out as a couple publicly, he would pull her into him so they could put their hands on each other's hips as they walked side by side. She at first tried to avoid this, both because it drew too much attention to them and it was plainly too cheesy. Ultimately she ended up giving up and enjoying the proximity and the warmth of his body when they walked together.

They were however at arm's length of one another. She let his hand go and leaned in to grab him by his waist and pull him closer to her, but he stepped away, almost making her trip over herself.

"What are you doing?"

"I just-" she paused mid-sentence. She leaned in to pull him closer almost out of reflex. She struggled to find words to describe the insignificant detail she meant to correct. "It's nothing." 

He must have noticed what was that she tried to do, since when they started walking again he put his hand on her and pulled her closer, but in a rather quick way.

This now struck her as odd. It felt stiff, like he was overcompensating for not going like this before. She must be overthinking this, right?

As they spent the day together he felt even more distant; His eyes wandered everywhere, he spent more time eating than talking to her at all, when they hugged it felt as if he was holding his breath... Small little things, almost unnoticeable, but enough to plant the seed of doubt on her heart. Sitting under a tree the second they finished a chapter she asked him:

 

"Is something wrong MC?"

"Hm? What? I'm fine darling. Why do you ask?"

"I feel something is upsetting you, you can tell me anything love."

He hesitated. It was beyond clear it wasn't easy for him to speak. "Do you think Monika will mind if I miss next week's meeting?"

"Not if you let her know in advance, why?"

"I have a... doctor's appointment. Nothing big but I just want to check on something."

"Oh! Is everything ok? You're not coming down with something are you?"

"What? No, no, of course not," he let out with an awkward grin. "I just need to be sure I'm not messing up my body."

"I understand dear." She didn't knew what that could mean. "Though, wouldn't you be able to just re-schedule it after the club session is over?"

"Hm? Uh... Well..." He paused a few seconds more than someone that knew what they were talking about would. "It's my father, he's my only ride and my doctor's office is a bit far from school, so I'll just leave during 4th period I think."

 

For the rest of their date she managed to push her insecurities to the back of her mind, with the excuse of MC probably being nervous over something insignificant he had to deal with his doctor, it could even be the case that he was a bit scared of it though she knew he wasn't exactly the squeamish type of guy. They even found the time to just lay down under that same tree and take a quick rest together, looking at the light that the tree leaves blocked and the clouds slowly passing by. Resting her head on MC's shoulder she felt like everything was going to be alright.

 

 

The memories of this calm and confidence were absent on Monday's meeting.

As Yuri stepped into the classroom, only to see Sayori with her chin on her desk looking through some sheets, most likely over club management stuff since she was the vice-president and this meant she had to help with the paperwork too. She soon realized Natsuki, MC, and Monika were nowhere to be seen.

"Hey Sayo, where's everyone?"

Sayori looked at her without moving her head one inch. "MC and Nats stepped out for some reason 5 minutes ago. Monika must be running late again."

"Oh, I see. And you're doing...?"

"I need to put the classroom number and if there's anything that we need besides the books we already own in the closet on this form so I can leave it by the faculty."

"Oh, and do we?"

"Besides some chalk for when Monika plans activities, not really."

"Oh, so you can finish it now then."

Sayori groaned in response, staring at the form without doing anything. Yuri chuckled and moved a desk next to hear and took the form to put the few details missing, to which Sayori groaned a "Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks" in reply.

"There, now, the only thing left is to wait for the others to arrive." And with that sentence silence started to consume the atmosphere in the room, until Monika entered the room, book in hand breathing heavily.

"I'm so sorry! I was practicing piano and I-" Monika looked at Yuri that was at this point resting her head on Sayori's shoulder. "Where's the other half of the literature club?"

Sayori replied with the " _iunno"_ sound before Yuri proceeded to explain. "Sayori told me they stepped out a while ago, not sure why."

"Huh, that's odd. I wonder what's up with him. I really hope he's not ditching the club or something."

"So he told you about next Monday?"

"Yeah, I know it's medical but something is up with him."

"I know what you mean," Yuri replied on a soft grumble, that was not supposed to be loud enough to be heard.

"Is everything alright between you two?"

Yuri left her mouth open to speak as MC and Natsuki slid the door open, Natsuki with her hand on his shoulder. Finishing whatever they were talking about, Natsuki added too softly for Yuri to hear, or anyone on the classroom for that matter, "It's hard, but I can tell you it's for the best." With that, she let go of him and headed towards the closet. 

Soon things were back to usual, even if Yuri knew something was wrong. It was better for her to wait however, she didn't have enough to go on to make any assumptions. This, in turn, made her even more nervous; facing the unknown without any solid hints regarding the person that she cared most about on this world...

She needed to remain calm. She was imagining things.

She was his, and he was hers. Everything was fine.

 

Everything was fine.


	3. #3 - Forget about it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri starts suspecting of MC becoming intimate with someone else, her jealousy slowly consumes her.

_"...catch up to her, and the fatigue was taking a hold of her body._

_All because that whistlemower had betrayed them-"_

 

_"...All because that whistleblower had arrayed them-"_

_..._

_"...All because that whistleblower..."_

 

It was pointless to try to ignore the calamity on her heart; as much as she tried to put her mind on a book and forget about it, Yuri found it impossible to stop thinking about MC. Last week having skipped the club meeting was only the start of a change in behavior where he only got weirder and weirder, but in a way it only really could bother her.

The infinity of little details only a madman could notice or care about, insignificant as the importance of a single grain of sand in a desert accumulated inside of Yuri's mind. He took more time replying to her texts, he seemed shyer than usual, he had been 'unable' to walk home with her several times now, as if he was avoiding her, they didn't see each other on Tuesday at all! The times he did walked with her physical contact was completely absent, and she already had grown used to the warmth of their hands holding each other. Perhaps she was being just too clingy, and this was just the next step in their relationship after a blind honeymoon phase, but the reasons to feel uncomfortable were just pilling one on top of another.

 

 

She decided to finally put the book down and get on her way to the top floor of the school building, (where the clubroom was located) for the Wednesday meeting, when unaware to them, she saw Natsuki and MC talking to each other as they headed to the top floor as well. She followed behind closely, without making her presence obvious.

"This isn't stalking, I just don't want to interrupt them... And why would it be stalking? It's not like they are not my friends, I'm just going with them... at a distance, this isn't stalking, I am not being possessive." This and many other excuses bounced inside of Yuri's head as she followed them to the classroom up the stairs. 

 

"Are you actually going to do it? Don't get me wrong," continued Natsuki. "But this sort of stuff is delicate."

"Are you kidding me? I'd like to keep things as they are between us, thank you very much," replied MC with a worried chuckle. "To actually speak my mind about this is straight up suicide."

"You'd be surprised."

"You got lucky, and I'm amazed at that actually."

"I take care of it on my own actually, since **he** can't be bothered to help me with it."

What were they referring to? One could only imagine what they were going on about.

"Despite it all, you still have enough freedom to do it. I'd take your place any day of the week," MC added.

"Oh you don't want to be me, trust me, but I do have to say if I didn't have at least this I would have gone insane long ago."

 

Yuri got closer to them in an effort to hear their conversation better. If something was wrong with MC this would be her best chance to hear anything, though this got her wondering, why would he speak about it with Natsuki rather than her if that was the case? How could Natsuki ever be more suited to hear him out than her?!

 

Yuri was having trouble quieting down her own thoughts to follow their conversation.

 

Natsuki sighed, gave MC a pat on the back as if to reassure him. "Is she hot?"

Even if Yuri couldn't see their faces she could picture their expressions perfectly by the way they spoke. And it was clear MC was scared by the sudden tension that took control of his body as Natsuki asked him that question.

Walking uneasily, holding his right arm with his left hand MC stuttered out doubting himself. "I... I well. Uhm... Suppose so? Under a certain light?"

Were they talking about Yuri? That was less than complimentary.

"Ha! You're totally blushing!" Natsuki said before poking him.

"Shut it," he snapped back at her. After a pause he continued "I did see her yesterday, but-"

Yuri's thoughts were now running wild. "Yesterday? They didn't do as little as run across each other yesterday. Who is this other woman?" Trying to get even closer she forgot to look where she was walking, making her fall over behind them.

Alerted by the thud of Yuri's body hitting the ground both turned around and helped her up.

"Are you ok darling?" asked MC.

"Y-yeah, sorry," Yuri managed to let out. "I tried to catch up to you two and tripped."

The three of them made their way to the clubroom, since they were already a few steps away from it. 

 

 

After Monika arrived and they all did what they always did, Monika made her announcement.

"Hey, guys! It's time to share poems!" It was clear to every person in the room she was stopping herself from saying "okay everyone!" After Sayori had made a comment about it a couple weeks back.

Yuri was rather impressed by Natsuki's, on this one the symbolism was at least not so on the nose, although the message left a lot to be desired. Sayori's was simple, but it was clear it carried a lot of feeling, it described a field she knows one could only find in paradise. Monika's style of writing was something that always caught her attention, vague but able to conceal a message that was clear in an unexplainable way. She then exchanged poems with MC.

 

_"Laying down"_

 

_"Under the blazing sun of the noon I lied,_

_the clouds stared back at me with their intimidating eyes of glass._

_Undisturbed I could feel the grass around me grow,_

_taking control of the soil that had not yet been conquered by their influence._

_Under the blazing sun of the evening I lied,_

_afraid of the sight that would greet me once I stood up._

_Plants that grew out of control due to my negligence,_

_Weeds spreading threatening my future as a gardener._

_Under the blazing moon I lied,_

_The judgment the celestial body put on me burned my skin._

_The moon simply couldn't handle the truth,_

_I'm a bad gardener."_

 

MC's writing only kept on improving, and she couldn't help but to feel a faint sense of pride when she saw how much she had influenced him. Now trying to put some thought into it, it was clear it talked about lying. Having to hide under a crushing pressure provoked by one's own lack of action. She interpreted a few other messages but it was not completely clear to her if she was reading its context properly. She could see MC's expression remain frozen as he went through her poem. It might not be the most effective means of communication, but in her own style, it was the best way she could find to put into words the chaos that had been tormenting her subconscious. 

 

_"Of cuisine and precision"_

 

_"It was by my own choice that I started to take in culinary arts, purchasing new books, looking for recipes and watching cooking shows._

_A skill I had more than well procrastinated to acquire if I want to live on my own,_

_As with anything else, the hardest part is beginning, but once I got a hold on the basics everything flowed smoothly._

_You become more able to ignore small oil burns that escape the pan, and become perfectly able to tell how much seasoning a dish needs without even tasting it._

_I have found this overconfidence to be my downfall, for I never overcook or fail to remember a recipe perfectly._

_But I keep adding way too much of myself._

_Not enough to ruin the dish, or even to consider the salty taste a bother once I start eating._

_But it always feels like I am a couple grains of salt away from perfection._

_I'll keep on trying until I can know my condiments as I know myself._

_The warmth of the stove is one I could never quit once I have tasted it."_

Everyone on the club briefly discussed each others poem, Monika had organized the activity better with the pass of the months. After everyone had read every poem they would gather to discuss each one. It was mainly just chatter about the message that didn't last long, but everyone always felt satisfied afterwards.

 

MC as always gleefully chatted with everyone else, and more or less was able to catch the main message behind her poem. She felt excited as she talked about MC's poem, and while deciding not to read between the lines a bit more it was plain that she felt truly joyful about her sweetheart's work.

As the club activities came to an end and everyone started packing their stuff Yuri looked up to see MC parting the classroom, telling all the girls in the room, "I'm late gotta rush! See you on Friday!"

Yuri could feel something inside of her shake. Collapsing under her skin.


	4. #4 - Do you accept my confession?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri confronts MC about his strange behavior.

The alarm clock in Yuri's bedroom was hit with a condescending movement. Letting her arm hang off her bed she squinted her eyes to protect herself from the sun rays that sneaked past her curtains.

Blindly looking for her phone on the nightstand, and not without knocking over some stuff she would have to pick up later, the fog in her mind started to dissipate. She could take her time, it was a Sunday morning in which she only had to worry about getting all things ready for the last week of classes before summer break, and perhaps returning some of the library books she had borrowed.

Checking her texts while slowly pulling herself out of bed she confirmed with Natsuki that they would be meeting later to go shopping. Yuri was not one to go shopping often, but she mostly enjoyed Natsuki's company when they could both talk about something that wasn't school or literature. She had already learned there was no point in going too deep into the subject without her recommending 14 different manga series. Yuri spent most of her allowance on books and knives and as far as she knew Natsuki used most of hers to buy manga, but they enjoyed walking around stores and sometimes poking fun at the ridiculous recent fashion trends.

 

Yuri got up, got showered, got breakfast and still having some moments to herself before heading out, Yuri looked at her texts with MC. She had consciously been avoiding thinking about it all morning but it was time she faced her insecurities. She read through their texts and felt her heart sink as the pattern became more and more clear with each swipe. Everything seemed normal but the more she had attempted the past few days to hang out with him the more excuses he had. The starvation for his warmth and just being able to hang out at her place all day without a care in the world was eating her alive.

Yuri's mind slowly drifted towards memories of him. The first time Yuri showed him her blades collection she could not have felt any more relieved to see him so cheerfully examine and talk about how stylish they were. To know he had no judgment of her because of this hobby was one of her greatest reliefs when they started dating. He didn't know about... the rather particular use she had given all those knives previously, and although he knew of Yuri's affinity for more gory images he had not made the connection between those two. He only saw those two interests as nothing more than that, a particular liking to these "edgy" things. At least that's what she thought.

Yuri opened her closet, and out of a small wooden box, she pulled one of the knives with a pale blue leather handle. The way the light reflected off the immaculate blade trapped her eyes, the feeling of the leather on her hand left her with no choice but to grip it tighter, the weight of the metal filled her veins with power. She found a beauty that is hard to put into words on the edge of her blade.

So precious.

So charming. 

So hypnotizing.

Maybe, just a small cut would help her organize her thoughts...

 

 

Before she could lift the sleeves of the shirt she was wearing, the notification sound of her cellphone helped her snap out of the trance the knife had put her under. It was Natsuki letting her know she would meet her in 20 minutes by the main entrance.

Yuri put the knife back in its place and headed out.

By the main entrance, Yuri waited and as soon as Natsuki arrived they strolled around the stores. Their day was going normally, until out of the corner of her eye Yuri spotted something that made her muscles freeze in fear before it disappeared.

"Yuri? What's wrong?" Asked Natsuki the second she noticed Yuri wasn't walking by her side.

Yuri turned her head to the cinema and held her hands up to her chest. "Was that MC that I just saw there?" A clear hint of nervousness was on her voice.

"What? I didn't see him."

"I swear I just saw him go into the theatre," Yuri continued. She started walking towards the snack bar, with Natsuki following behind closely.

"Didn't you tell me he was busy today?"

"That's why he shouldn't be here!" 

"Wait up what are you doing? Slow down," pleaded Natsuki as she quickened her pace to keep up with Yuri.

"I need to talk to my boyfriend right now."

Yuri saw him, facing towards the snack bar holding hands with a blonde girl. Natsuki tried to say "it might not be what it looks like," but Yuri was already red and stomping her way towards the couple. Letting her hand fall on MC's shoulder consumed by emotion she spoke.

"MC! HOW DARE-"

It was at this moment when the man before her turned around that she realized he was not MC. He and the woman beside him turned around and stared at Yuri with a confused expression as all the color on her face faded away.

"YOuuu......" her muscles tensed up and made her unable to unclench her hand to let go of the boy's shirt. The resemblance, at least in hairstyle, was quite amazing, but besides that and their age MC and this random teenager couldn't look any more different.

Sliding in to save Yuri and avoiding the situation to escalate any further, since by raising her voice Yuri had caused a lot of people nearby to turn their heads towards her, Natsuki pulled Yuri's arm and with it the rest of her away from the scene. "I'm very sorry," she added with a clearly forced smile to signal her embarrassment. "We confused you with a friend of ours."

Draggin her petrified friend out of there avoiding the looks of everyone, Natsuki and Yuri left the building.

"What was that all about?!" asked Natsuki softly, but in a tone that made clear that she would be yelling if she could.

Yuri was speechless. It was not like her at all to cause a scene or to speak so loudly in public and yet that was just what she had done. She kept stumbling on to words not being able to make any coherent sense, it was becoming harder and harder to breathe for her as she apologetically spewed out words with no correlation with one another. 

 

Natsuki made Yuri sit down in one of the benches outside of the mall and then sat down next to her, giving her time to get a hold of herself. Yuri looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Are you ok?" Natsuki said, looking as Yuri covered her face with both of her hands.

"I'm so sorry," she replied in a voice that Natsuki struggled to hear. "I'm so very sorry."

"What happened back there? What's wrong?" Natsuki was confused, and with one hand on Yuri's shoulder, she tried to be as close to her as possible.

Yuri took a deep breath, and after trying to gain back control of her breathing she replied, "I think MC is cheating on me."

Natsuki was taken back, visibly recoiling and opening up her eyes. "What? Why? What?" she managed to say. "What are you talking about?"

"I just can't stop thinking about it! He's acting so weird, not letting me touch him, always making up excuses. I just don't know what's up with him, and, and..."

"You are being paranoid, he's not that kind of guy!"

"How would you know?! I just don't know what is wrong, what did I do wrong? I just feel like it's a matter of time..."

Yuri managed to fight back the tears and proceeded then to tell Natsuki all about his behavior the last few weeks, and how drastically everything had been changing, slowly but noticeably. Natsuki kept on reassuring her that there was no evidence something like that could be true, and as unusual of her it was to defend him, she truly believed there was no way MC could be seeing someone else behind her back. Both of them managed to calm down completely, after 1 whole hour of talking on the bench. When they finally decided it was time to say their goodbyes Yuri hugged Natsuki, thanking her for helping her make less of the thoughts that were tormenting her.

 

 

Monday rolled around, and for a change, Yuri appeared to be the first one to arrive at the clubroom after class. This was the last week of classes before summer break so it was understandable why things would fall out of the ordinary schedule. After her arrived Monika, relieved that her piano practice wouldn't be noticed by everyone. Then Natsuki and Sayori that had both decided to grab a snack together before heading to the clubroom.

However, after a couple minutes there was no sign of MC.

Yuri asked about this to Monika but she was not notified if there was a reason he would be missing today's meeting. Yuri scoffed, not against Monika but mostly for herself, as she opened up her book and kept reading where she had left off. It was bugging her that she had prepared such an especial poem for today, important for him to read, but he wouldn't be joining them. After all the girls had already shared their poems, and their time was coming to a close the door slid open and on the other side MC appeared, holding on to the doorframe, sweaty, breathless, his backpack open, and a bunch of crumpled sheets of paper on his left hand.

"S-sorry, _huff,_ that I'm, _puff,_ late..." 

All the girl turned around to look at him, as he messily pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time.

"God... _Ugh..._ Damn it."

"What happened dear?!" Yuri asked him, leaving the stuff she was about to pack on her desk to run to him.

MC took a moment to catch his breath and fix his posture. "I had forgotten about one of the recovery exams I was supposed to present for Chemistry, I am pretty sure I did well this time but I totally forgot to tell Monika so I decided to come to the clubroom as soon as I finished... I didn't expect it to take me this long."

"Hey, it's ok dummy! You didn't have to rush all the way up here," reassured Sayori.

"Well, I guess you can catch up with what we discussed today later, but please be more mindful about your actions MC," added Monika.

"Better late than never I guess," said Natsuki.

"Well," Monika continued, "we're all going home now so there was no point on you coming here. But don't stress about it. Bring a poem for Wednesday though."

MC nodded.

"I'm going home, I'll see you girls later," said Natsuki before grabbing her stuff and passing by MC.

MC walked to Yuri'ss desk and helped her put everything on her bag, while Monika and Sayori made her way to the classroom door.

"Do you wanna walk home together MC?" asked Sayori.

"Thank you, but there's something else I have to take care of."

Yuri finished packing her stuff and MC stuffed the sheets of paper he had on his backpack before closing it.

"I guess I'll see you later," Yuri spoke to the only other person in the classroom.

"Actually... I need a moment of your time Yuri. We need to talk."

Yuri stared at him, a chill ran down her spine. Time seemed to have stopped within the clubroom. "What is it?"

"Well, you see... The thing is... I am not sure how to word this... But it turns out... That basically..."

Yuri had already run this scenario through her head one thousand times. Him breaking her heart into a million bite-sized pieces by telling her there's someone else, or even worse, that he simply stopped loving her.

"Can you be a man and say it, please?" It took all the willpower in her to speak in that manner.

"Don't call me that," MC replied.

"What do you mean? Call you what?"

"A man."


	5. #5 - Her lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC confesses to Yuri what was on his mind all this time.

Yuri looked at MC dumbfounded. What he had just said didn't connect at all with her expectations, or with anything that had any semblance of logic on her mind.

Visibly shaking MC continued, "It's simply... I just don't want to be called that anymore." MC was looking down avoiding eye contact, and his long hair provided the perfect wall to shield himself from Yuri's gaze.

"Wh- Eh?" Yuri simply couldn't understand at first, all the words made cohesive sense but they didn't make sense to her. "What are you talking about?"

MC clenched his fists, one could feel the pain on his voice each time a syllable left his lips. "I have been... thinking a lot, and I don't feel like myself when people call me a man, or a boy, or..." His voice cracked, Yuri started to make connections on her mind when in a scream, pushing himself closer to crying MC shouted: "I'M TRYING TO SAY IM TRANS!" 

Yuri took a step back, shocked by the way the scream echoed within the clubroom. Her mind was going blank, focusing all of her capacities on trying to make connections and letting the concept actually settle within her.

"I was scared," whispered MC. "I, I know this is who I am, but I just love you so much that I was scared of what you might have said. I just couldn't handle being rejected even in my own mind."

Yuri moved both of her hands close to her chest, her brain cells finally started connecting the dots.

 

"I spoke with Natsuki... She texted me about what happened at the mall," MC's voice was getting both weaker and stronger in tone by the second. "Cheating on you? I could never do that! I am obsessed with you! But, with all these thoughts on my mind, with the fear that you would leave me if you ever found out who the real me is... I just couldn't help myself. I tried to act normal but one part of me kept screaming that I shouldn't lie to you while the other screamed that all would be over if I told the truth!"

"She told you that?!" Yuri spoke out as her cheeks became redder.

"She told me to just tell the truth... Before I drove you insane." MC took a pause and turned around to face the door, giving his back to Yuri. "I first came to her to vent about all of these confusing feelings, and she has helped me a lot... She knows better than anyone about trans stuff anyway so I knew my secret would be safe with her, but when she told me you knew something was wrong with me and would go as far to think that I'd betray you I just...!"

He unclenched his hands, letting them fall with a defeated sigh.

"I wish I didn't have these feelings, but I do. I'd be so much happier if I could just be one of you girls. I want to be the better version of myself there is, and I know now that not hiding this part of me will make things better for myself... And it has taken me a lot of time to figure that out but there's no point on running from it anymore."

Yuri took a step forward.

"I know you may think that I should have come to you first but I love you Yuri," he spoke bringing his hands to his head. "And I couldn't risk losing you! You're the most wonderful thing I have and if you got... repelled, by these thoughts. I just wouldn't know what to do."

Yuri took another step forward.

"You girls are all I have, and if I wasn't careful I would lose not only the girl I'm crazy about but I'd lose all of my friends!!" MC took a couple steps towards the wall, leaning against it to help him stand. HIs knees were weak. "I have some other friends in my class and in the neighborhood, but they are all little more than acquaintances. I spent so much time on my own just going home directly after school to play videogames and read manga that when Sayori made me join the club my life took a complete turn I didn't even believe possible. The literature club is the best thing in my life, and if I fucked up things between us I wouldn't have the courage to show my face here again."

 

Yuri's mind had stopped completely. She didn't knew where to start with all of this.

 

Coughing, trying to hide the fact that tears were accumulating inside of him MC continued.

"I love you. Ever since I came to this clubroom I knew you'd get someone like me... Someone that wasn't used to having many friends... Someone that just preferred to stay calm in their own world and I-" 

The pain on his chest finally won him over, and through gritted teeth, crying, and with his knees about to give up he kept on trying to speak.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," he said. "You must hate me now, why wouldn't you? I lied to you, I gave you so much stress over something so selfish, I'm so stupid, stupid, stu-"

Yuri, through the tears, melancholy, rage, and confusion saw something. She could see a bit of herself on MC. She could see that little voice that works all day and night filling every waking moment with hypotheticals and scenarios of the worst possible outcomes, she could see the terror and despair that causes upon your soul to feel like you're going to lose those you love. She couldn't take it and ran up to him to hug him.

Squeezing as hard as she could, hoping that it would make the situation magically go away Yuri held on to him like her life depended on it, to then cry on his shoulder.

"I love you," Yuri said.

They both fell to the clubroom's floor, as her words pierced deeply within MC's heart. His legs gave up and the first thing he could do was to hug her back. Although intelligibly because of the emotion that had taken control over them and thus made it impossible to speak clearly they both repeated "I'm sorry" and "I love you" as many times as they could, while slowly sinking to the clubroom's floor and holding each other tighter and tighter.

It was a combination between the emotional energy that was just drained out of them, the fact that neither of them had slept well on anticipation of this confrontation, the warmth and safety they received from being so close to each other, or perhaps just the fact that they all had done plenty throughout the day, but there, laying down on the floor after they both had run out of tears to cry and their breathing came back to normal, the couple drifted into sleep. Their bodies couldn't take it anymore and what seemed to be a pause to breathe and collect their strength soon became a nap.

 

 

 

MC was the first of the two to wake up. The dimming light of the sunset was the only illumination within the classroom. She looked at Yuri, still on her arms, softly sleeping and with tears still on her face. MC put her hands on Yuri and moved her around slightly to wake her up.

"I think we fell asleep..."

Yuri looked around her, and slightly embarrassed of how close she was to MC she tried to get up.

"How long were we out?"

"About 2 hours I think," replied MC, checking her phone. "I'm glad it's Monday, if we stayed this late on a Friday someone would have found us... Or worse locked us up the whole weekend."

"We should get going, my parents will be concerned," said Yuri.

"Y- Yeah..."

MC's movements were slow, careful and measured. She still didn't know exactly what had happened.

"Does only Natsuki know?" Yuri asked while she finished making sure that she was ready to go, 

"Sayori knows too, she's been my friend since forever and as much as I hate it she can read me very well. Actually,-" MC hesitated, unsure if she should keep exposing herself. "She's closer to my size than Natsuki so she even let me borrow some clothes."

Yuri sighed, grabbed her girlfriend's hand as she led her to the door. "How would that even fit on you? She's way shorter and smaller in general."

"Well, it was just while I experimented so-"

Yuri interrupted her. "It's alright, but I will need to help you out to find something that doesn't strangle you if you try to wear it."

MC let out a sigh of deep relief,  hearing those words leave Yuri's mouth filled her with so much happiness she couldn't help but chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, I just don't know what I was scared about."

The two girls left the classroom and walked home together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! I honestly am still a bit just energetic by chapter 4's conclusion, and I don't know how I'm going to top that but thank you all for your kind words!  
> On another note now that the cat is out of the bag I'd like to hear some thoughts about MC's name. I have been debating on whether it should  
> 1\. Remain MC as it is technically just a placeholder.  
> 2\. Change it to FeMC/FemC to allow discussions of her previous and current name to flow more easily, while still not giving a real name.  
> 3\. Assume that his legal name is something like Matsui Chikata, the girls call him MC by his initials, from there it's either:  
> 3.1. Give her a given name that also starts with C so she remains MC. Matsui Chami has a ring to it, doesn't it? And the girls call her both MC and Chami.  
> 3.2. Give her a new name that doesn't start with C, making the nickname of "MC" no longer usable, and she starts being referred to only by the new name.
> 
> I'm personally a fan of 3.1. but I'd like to hear your thoughts in the comments.  
> Thank you all for reading!


End file.
